Becci's Eulogy

When my mom first asked me to speak about Thomas, I wasn't sure I could do it. In fact, I still don't know that I can. I've sat down numerous times over the last week trying to write something and just keep getting stuck. Saying goodbye to my brother is easily one of the hardest things I've ever had to do in my whole life.

My brother and I were very close growing up. We're not very far apart in age and we had a lot of the same friends - especially as teenagers. So we spent a lot of time together. In fact, when he was living up north with my dad as a teenager, I would drive up and get him almost daily, so that he could come and hang out with our friends in Kirkland. I just loved having my brother around and loved seeing him happy and I knew he hated being stuck up north.

My brother wasn't the kind to be cooped up. He needed to be busy and active all the time. I think the only time I really ever saw him sit still for any length of time was when he was playing guitar or drawing. And he was so good at drawing!

In fact, I think he was only 15 when he drew me my leprechaun tattoo. It was New Years Eve and we were partying with friends and, just on a whim, I decided I wanted to get a tattoo. So we gathered up a group of friends and went down at this tattoo place in Seattle called Mindseye tattoo and they had this book of tattoos that I was looking through, trying desperately to find something I wanted to put on me and I couldn't find anything, so I didn't cancel my appointment, but in less than 15 minutes he had drawn this little leprechaun sitting on a mushroom. That was it. My birthday is on St. Patrick's Day, so it was perfect. We rushed back to the tattoo parlor and got there just in time for my appointment. I've always cherished that tattoo - in fact, it's the only one I've ever gotten, but now it seems more special than ever.

My brother got his belly button pierced that day, at the same time I was getting my tattoo. That wasn't the first time he'd gotten a piercing actually. There was this time when he was a teenager when he got his tongue pierced. We were living in the Kirkland house and my brother was really getting into tattoos and piercings and dying his hair funky colors and he had decided he wanted to get his tongue piercing. But he didn't have a lot of money and he hadn't really planned to do it. He had borrowed a barbell from a friend, straight out of his friend's mouth, and went and got his tongue pierced. He was so spontaneous like that. Of course, his friend needed the barbell back after the piercing, so Thomas stuck an earring in his tongue to try and keep the hole open until he could get a barbell of his own. I'll never forget him coming out of his room, drooling and unable to talk. He had bit down on the ring in his sleep and by morning his tongue was completely swollen. My mother took him to the ER and they had to get some maintenance guys with a couple vice grips to remove it.

I'm sure everyone here has a fun story about Thom because he was always doing crazy stuff like that. You just never knew what to expect with my brother. If he wasn't partying it up with friends he was running with the bands and flying off to Hawaii and getting stuck there, sleeping on the beach, with no ID and no money to get home.

Until he met Kristin.

My brother lived with us for a short while and even watched my kids for me and my husband for a short time - and he was so good with my kids - but in those days I honestly never thought my brother would get married and have his own family. But, I'd never seen him more happy than when he was with Kristin and when he was with his son.

My brother's life may have been cut short, but it was full.

And his life may have been rough at times, but I've always envied his ability to just live for the moment and take every experience as it came to him. My brother was a good man and he deserved more time. He deserved more.